Okay. Couple pieces of business.
The Van Nuys jails are overcrowded.
One thing this city has too much of, it's prisoners.
That, and hipsters
who wear woolen ski caps in the summertime.
Pierce, you're not one of those guys, are you?
What, are you kidding me?
Course you're not.
That's 'cause you're an American.
Anyway, the point is our prison cells are empty.
Well, with the exception of that puke douche vamp
named Rico.
So we'll be expecting a van of overflow prisoners
within the hour.
Officers Brown and Lawton from the LAPD
have joined us to help us with that transition.
Hey, you guys can totally say something if you want to.
We don't want to say anything.
Anyway, officer Landry,
as some of you may or may not know,
found herself recently in a situation
where she had to compromise not only her identity,
but several UTF tactics,
so today she has informed me
that she is going to offer me her resignation
effective immediately.
Now, Landry did some good work...
That's not true. I'm not quitting.
Officer Landry, if you're having second thoughts,
now is not the time or the place.
No, at least have the balls to tell them
- if you're gonna fire me. - Ooh.
Sit down, officer Landry.
I said take your seat...
Man down!
Officers, stand back from that...
Man down! Man down!
Officer, stand back.
Officer, get away from that man!
He's been bit!
Officer!
Ow.
Nice shot, Rinaldi. Nice shot.
- Captain. - Ugh...
- Do it. - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Officer. - Whoa!
Sorry. It has to be done.
Officer, stand away from that zombie!
Quiet! Everybody shut up!
There's a bomb on the zombie!
What?
There's a bomb on the zombie.
Rinaldi, Johnson, hold your fire!
Stubeck, Pierce, you diffuse that bomb.
Uh, cut the yellow one. Uh, read is dead...
Yeah, we got it.
They got it. They know exactly what they're doing.
We do not know what we're doing.
He's gonna blow.
Aah! Aah!
Fall out! Fall out!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Move it!
Get down. Get down.
Cover your eyes.
Huh. What do you know?
Maybe it was a dud.
Well, don't Jinx it.
Oh, Jinxes aren't real.
You calling the Egyptians liars?
It's a dud.
Aah...
Captain?
Had to be done.
One year ago...
Vampires, werewolves, and zombies...
Descended upon California's San Fernando Valley.
Authorities remain baffled by their origins.
♪ All this nasty business gets so rotten ♪
♪ I think it's time to put this body ♪
♪ in the ground ♪
♪ oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh ♪
♪ we're losing all control ♪
♪ the buildings ♪
♪ all turned to dust ♪
♪ and I feel it's getting closer ♪
♪ 'cause they're coming for us ♪
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Okay, people, we are obviously under attack.
My suggestion, you strap down with every weapon you can carry,
and you give hell to anything that movies.
- Copy that. - Damn right.
Officer Brown, apologies all around about your partner.
He died...
Did you say "honorably" or "horribly"?
I said he died...
Either one would have applied.
All right, let's fall out and strap down.
I heard it too.
What the hell, Captain?
Where's all my bats at, man?
Where's the ammo?
Vamps must have broken in here and cleaned us out.
Problem is there's no sign of forced entry.
It's almost like they had help from somebody on the inside.
I... I had nothing to do with this.
I don't even know how to get the weapons myself.
Yeah, it doesn't mean
you couldn't have tipped someone off.
That's the stupidest thing that I have ever heard.
Hey, you do not talk to officer Rinaldi that way.
Watch your mouth.
Watch out.
I'm going to talk to your friend, Rico.
He's not my friend.
I totally believe you.
Oh, God. We're gonna die!
Who is it?
It's my wife.
I'll let it go to voicemail.
No, no, no, I think you should get that.
You should talk to her.
I promise you.
One of the kids doesn't want to take a bath, okay?
It'll wait.
There. Voicemail. I'm all yours, Captain.
Stubeck, Pierce, you guys secure that back window
and the front entrance to the station.
Rinaldi, Johnson, you guys got the warehouse and perimeter.
Landry, you cop a squat in that seat
and stay out of our way.
Captain, I'm not gonna just sit here.
Not your decision, Landry.
Okay, okay, take positions!
Take cover and pick your spots!
I thought you said they were regular prisoners.
They were regular prisoners an hour ago.
Vamps must have gotten to 'em,
thrown a zombie in the van on the way over.
I'm going to check on Rico.
Stubeck, you're Alpha dog till I get back.
You copy?
Yes, Captain.
Hold your ground!
We're low on ammo. Every shot counts.
That sound is driving me nuts.
Yeah, but Stubeck said every shot counts.
Worth it.
Ow!
Officer down! Officer down!
You all right? Where're you hit?
- It's okay. - Come on. Let's go.
- . - You okay?
Ah. Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
It's okay.
Oh... Ugh.
Careful.
Billy!
Oh, that sounded awesome.
Listen, stay here and hide, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Hide.
Okay.
Billy, come on!
Hey, what's up?
Put a shirt on.
Change of plans.
We're literally taking shots in the dark out there.
Somebody's gonna get killed.
- What else you got? - Hand to hand combat.
Anything that can be used as a weapon, grab it.
The sooner the better, because...
Billy, get 'em up. Get 'em up.
Ho.
Good shot, girl.
Stu, you okay? Get up, man.
I thought I told you to stay hidden.
- I got scared. - You don't listen.
- Turn that off. - They're coming.
Guys, go, go, go, go.
Move, sound guy.
Aah.
Okay, a-hole. Time to start talking.
About what?
About whether you want
to make it out of here alive or not,
'cause I swear to God, if I'm gonna bite it,
no pun intended, I'm bringing your rancid ass with me.
We are under attack.
Now you tell me what the hell's going on.
Well, if my family's coming to get me,
I can't say I'm not surprised.
What?
My family's coming to get me,
I can't say I'm surprised.
Okay, wait. So you're not surprised?
Or you are surprised that your family's coming to get you?
I'm not surprised.
What the hell are you talking about?
Don't you know who my dad is?
He's the boss. He runs the show.
Hey, if you want to call off this attack,
you probably want to let me go.
It's your call, Captain.
Screw it.
I'll take my chances.
Aah.
A-hole.
I can't see anything.
It's so dark. What the hell's going on?
Shh.
God. Grab something.
Come on.
Kick it.
Come on. Pick it up.
Shh. Hurry up.
Go, go, go.
- I got it! - Aah!
Hold your fire. Hold your fire.
Whoo!
Aw. Well played.
We work well together.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
High five.
Yeah.
Mother.
Get your ass off me.
Go, John-John, go!
I think we lost 'em.
Where's the knives?
That's a carrot-peeler, John-John.
- How do you know? - Come on.
That's a knife.
Yes, it is.
What, are you making coffee?
No, I'm a tea drinker. You know that.
I'm making this thing heavier.
Right.
Ow.
Why won't that break?
Third time's the charm.
Dude, you're killing us on root beer.
- Guys. - You good?
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- You're fine? - Yes. You all right?
Okay, good. Yeah? Everybody's fine?
Is everybody good?
- I hit a zombie in the face. - You did? Nice job.
- In the face! - Nice job.
- In the face! - Okay.
- Let's take it to 'em. - Okay.
I'm not a traitor!
- She's always doing that. - Kirsten.
Why's she always doing that?
Aah!
This isn't my usual style!
Come on. Come on.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Come on!
You said you wanted extra foam with that? Huh?
Utf, fall out!
Fall out! Fall out!
Carla. Let's go, Carla.
Come on!
Go, go!
Aah!
Come on. Move, move, move! Let's move!
Door locked?
Yeah.
Good. Okay.
Hang on. Yep, we're good.
Um, can I just ask what the is going on?
It's the vamps, man.
They unleashed a slice of hell on us.
Obviously they got intel about the prisoner relocation.
Hey, no badge, I got this.
Obviously they got intel about the prisoner relocation,
hijacked the van, threw a fresh zombie in there,
and let him go to town on the prisoners.
- So what do we do now? - Pray.
John-John, pull it together.
Hey, I'm good.
Carla's right. We can do this.
Maybe if we wait 'em out it'll slow 'em down a little bit.
Good point, Pierce.
Po-lice, I don't know how this night's gonna end.
I do know the Chinese use the same symbol for opportunity
as they do danger.
While that might say something about the way they drive,
it also says something
about the way this situation might turn out tonight.
Now, I don't know if any of us
are gonna make it out of here alive.
I want to be clean as I move on to the next phase.
Captain, we're gonna get through this, I promise you.
Uh, Rinaldi, I'm kind of in the middle of a speech here.
Do you mind?
I have very few regrets.
I do wish I'd played the piano.
And the tenor sax. That's a beautiful instrument.
Oh, I tried playing the tenor sax.
It's actually a lot harder than you would think, so...
I wish I'd traveled more.
And gone whale riding.
Like they did in that movie, The Whale Rider.
Yeah.
And I've always wanted to have sex on my office desk.
I wish I had sex on your desk too.
Ugh.
I just wish that I had sex.
I'm not a freak or anything.
It just was never the exact right time
with the exact right guy.
I only hope my daughters grow up with your values.
Thanks.
I would have liked to try being a mom.
I would have liked to make Carla a mom.
- Didn't see that coming. - I'm surprised.
Didn't know that you liked her.
- Was that obvious? - Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I guess I, uh,
I wish I'd spent more time with my family lately.
But I'm gonna give 'em a call
as soon as I have some privacy.
You should do that. You never know.
- Thanks. - Are you crying?
Yeah, I miss my family too.
Yeah, maybe you should have thought about that
before you started hooking up with Rico.
- Damn right. - Hey, I'm getting tired
of everyone around here fingering Kirsten.
You know what I mean.
Captain, what did Rico say before?
He said this whole night's about busting him out of jail.
I don't plan on finding out if he's right.
Well, why not, though, right?
I mean, it may get us out of here.
Because we don't negotiate with vampires, Johnson.
I don't know.
I'm starting to think John-John might be right.
I'm just saying, Captain.
Either we let him go, or we kill him.
I'm down with you either way.
Stubeck, open that door.
That's what I'm talking about.
Look alive, men.
Johnson, Pierce, you come with me.
The rest of you guys stay put.
Watch yourself, all right?
Hey, can I pick your brain
on your folks' parenting style?
Yeah, LA... later.
Were you involved in intramural sports?
Get up.
Now, listen to me, scumbag.
Those leeches you call a family
want to see you alive,
you got three seconds to call off this attack.
I am counting to myself.
You're forgetting one thing, Captain.
Yeah, and what's that?
I'm a vampire.
I'm a lot stronger than you.
Oh!
Nice.
Good-bye, Rico.
Look out!
John-John!
Let's go.
John-John!
I will get us a hotel room! I am dead serious!
John-John!
Hold on. He's in the zone.
Come on.
That's what I call a whole lot of black power.
Saved you one.
- Thanks, Billy. - Yeah.
My root beer.
You've earned it, son.
Let it shoot high, let it shoot right.
Let it hit true.
Looks like my on a Sunday morning.
People, I don't really know what to say.
Words come cheap when you've been witness
to the kind of bravery you people showed tonight.
I thought Billy was gonna fix the circuits.
He's working on it, Captain.
Well, yeah, it's very easy.
Just tell him to flip the switch back and forth.
The whole thing resets itself.
Just flip the switch, Billy.
Stubeck.
I saw real leadership out of you tonight.
I saw tremendous perseverance out of your partner.
I saw expert marksmanship out of you, Rinaldi,
and I saw mind-boggling and an awesome display
of raw power out of you, Johnson.
There you go. See that? I told you.
You just... you got to just...
It's easy. You just flip the switch.
- And then it resets. - Easy peasy.
I know. That's what I was saying.
Officer Landry, you take a bullet to the arm tonight?
Yes, sir.
Landry, I had you pegged as a traitor,
but you showed me something very special tonight,
and you have certainly earned the right to stay on the force.
At least for the time being.
Thanks, Captain.
Good job, rook.
Officer Brown, you still in one piece?
Captain. He's been bit.
Ah, jeez.
Officer Brown, this trophy is in recognition
of the great bravery you displayed
during your short time here at the UTF.
You are a soldier to your fellow officers
and a servant to your fellow citizens,
and I hope you display that trophy proudly.
Okey-doke. Let's get ourselves some well-earned rest,
and we'll reconvene at the regular time tomorrow.
That's a nice trophy.
Honey? Weird day at work.
- Officer Landry. - Hey, Billy.
I think we should probably redress that.
You know, you don't have to keep your promise, right?
I know.
Sheraton Universal? Right off the 101?
Meet you at the bar?
Indeed you will.
Ah.
That's some damn good root beer.
Bitch.
♪ Ba, ba, da, ba... ♪
For today's funeral,
I want all of you in your dress blues.
Dashell thinks there's a mole in the UTF.
Your son Rico was a scumbag and a pimp.
Do not threaten me.
You're under arrest.
I was this close to banging Kirsten in Dashell's office.
I'm gonna go tell Dashell.
You glock-blocked me.
You're a terrible person.
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